Each year, in the middle of yet another Ohio winter, I begin to feel a restlessness in my spirit, maybe even a sense of panic with an unspoken question: will Spring come again? For five years or so, I tried to put this feeling into lyrics. Half written songs on scraps of paper would find their way into files and journals, but no coherent song emerged from the pieces.

During this same period of time, my heart began to become weighed down by my own mis-understandings about life and God. My childlike faith in my Heavenly Father was replaced with a grown-up counterfeit, and it became more about meeting the expectations of people, trying to please a distant God that I hardly understood, and a cycle of guilt for not doing enough and exhaustion from doing too much. My relationships with friends, family, and my marriage began to suffer as my heart turned bitter and angry. Jesus’ promise confused me: “I have come that you would have LIFE, and have it to the full.” Where was this full life that He promised?

My life continued on this path for several years. But slowly, finally, it began to happen. Spring in my heart. I can’t say exactly what started the transformation, but unloading my burdens at the feet of Jesus became so freeing that I couldn’t wait to let go of more. My misconceptions of God began to peel away, revealing His true face: beautiful, joyful, patient, faithful. He had been waiting all along to heal me, to free me from lies, and to offer me the exquisite gift of HOPE.

During this healing time in my life, “Yellow Roses” emerged unexpectedly. Some pieces of the lyrics I had been writing for the past few years remained, but mostly, it was a new song. I can’t go back now. I look forward to living each day in the hope and freedom that God has given me, and singing a new song with my life. Winter turning to Spring in our hearts is one of God’s greatest miracles.